Saturday, 13 May 2017

How Cancer Has Changed Me

Over the past few weeks I've been having a bit of a rough time but I don't want to sit and complain about everything so I might try to write some separate blog posts about some of the things that have happened, but this post is all about me trying to fuel my pain/upset from this rough patch of my journey into something positive, although this experience is rubbish (insert rude words as appropriate) and I've had the toughest time going through it, I'm going to try and make this situation turn me into a better person, I have learnt so many things from being diagnosed with cancer and I want to use them to my advantage to turn me into a better person with a better outlook on life (or turn me into the perfect wife for Justin Bieber) I'm starting this by thanking and apologising to my friends and family, the people I've met along this journey(doctors, nurses, all people involved with the medical stuff, I've met celebs but can't really say this to them lol) thankyou so much for being by my side and for supporting me and looking after me so well, there have been times after diagnosis when I have been angry and I still probably take stuff out on you when I'm having a bad day, but you are the people who get me through each day, you look after me so well and my friends especially you cheer me up with your texts and with coming to visit me and wanting to spend time with me (even though I know  I can be  annoying), so thankyou for being here, I'm always here for you too. 

I have learned so many things from my experience with cancer,  another one is that you shouldn't waste time worrying about silly things (idk something like spilling a drink on your favourite top) the time you spend worrying over trivial things like that is useless because you can't change it, I think it's a natural thing for us to do and I try now not to but it's quite hard, there's times when I find myself thinking I'm sick of this now, I hate cancer,  why did this happen to me?, what did I do wrong?, but I know I can't change it however much I want to, I might be Queen Bieber but I can't take my cancer away, So I'm trying my hardest not to worry about trivial things (although tbh I'll probably still complain when my phone needs charging) 

another of the many things I'm trying to change about myself is to appreciate everything in life, even the smallest things because if you put them all together they're all one big thing, For example- I shouldn't take for granted living in a lovely area with the people I live with, because there are people in this world who are underprivileged, when I'm better I'm going to make it a goal to help people & animals but for now all I can do is just appreciate what I do have at the moment because even though cancer has taken things from me, I still have a lot more than other people.

I'm going to make this the last thing then stop rambling, cancer has taught me that I'm stronger than I think and even the most  horrible situations can't bring you down and stop you  if you don't let them, my cancer has taken so much from me, a few being my ability to use the left side of my body, nerve damage to my voice, missed out on finishing my first year A-Level exams and spending time with my fab friends at college but I have not and will not let it take my positivity and determination to beat this cruel disease, I take each day as it comes and just get through them because that's all I can do, and I have bad days but occasionally I do have good days, I just have  to persevere

I hope that anyone who reads this post can take  something from it, I want to turn my situation around to help others and to explain a bit more about cancer, thank you for reading.


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